Sunday, August 7, 2011

What's been up.

I have been remiss in regular posting on my blog for quite a bit lately.  I'm not really sure why.  Maybe it's because I feel no one will read it so why bother, then I remember that I started this for myself, no one else.

It's been almost 10 months since my surgery and I am currently about 7 pounds away from my goal.  I feel I have been sliding in to old habits a bit and it scares me.  I nibble and snack when I'm not hungry and it's not a good thing at all.  I will not go back to the old me.  I need to confront all my feelings instead of eating them away. 

Part of the problem is I'm bored.  I don't have any friends and I find myself kind of lost as to what to do with my time.  The kids start back to school this week and I think I might take a day to volunteer at my youngests school, and I've thought of going to the local animal shelter and see if they need any help doing things.  The only problem with that one is the animals, I have a very soft heart and it might be a bit of a challenge being around them and not being able to bring them home.

There are so many things that I can do now, but can't find anyone to do them with.  I've been solo during the week for so long it's a bit sad that I'm sick of my own company.  It would be good to have a girlfriend to do things with and talk with.  I have people I work with, but they don't consider me a friend.  At least that's what I think.  They never speak to me unless I'm at work, and then it's just casual stuff mostly. For someone who's life prior to moving here was revolving around her friends that's a bit of an adjustment and I can honestly say it isn't one that I've managed very well.  I have always wanted people to like me and it's a bit bothersome to find that I can't make any real friends here.

I have been toying with the idea of getting a part time job.  They hairstyling business is a bit slow and I need to make some money.  The only problem with that is finding a job that can deal with the specific hours that I can work.

I went riding yesterday and remembered why I love it so much.  I really wish I had a place to keep a horse, but alas, no such luck.  I guess I'll just have to keep bothering the local stable guy. 

My hubby bought me a kayak for my birthday and it's a lot of fun to take that out, but again, alone. 

Thinking things through and trying to make the best choices is sometimes so much damn work.

1 comment:

DesertHen said...

Making choices for ourselves is sometimes the hardest thing to do! We as women, wives, mothers are always thinking of everyone else first. When it comes down to us and what we want or need to do in our own lives...well sometimes those choices are so hard to make! Volunteering is always a great thing to do. That is what I did when we moved to the area we live in now. I became a 4-H leader and met some wonderful people that way. I volunteered a lot before going back to work full time. If they have 4-H in your area maybe you could lead a photography group. Kids love taking pictures and learning from someone who loves it as well always makes it so much more fun! Just a thought! I don't have a lot of friends here despite living here for almost 11 years, so I know how you feel about just wanting to have someone to hang with and have a girls night or day out once in a while. Hang in there! You are doing great and have accomplished so much! (((HUGS)))