Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Getting Out Of My Head

I would have to say that until lately this WLS journey hasn't been too bad.  The last few weeks I seem to be at a stall as far as my weight goes and it can be a bit frustrating.  I'm doing my best to deal with it.  I realize that my body needs to adjust to the loss and to do that it will hold water and do it's best to figure out what I'm doing to it.  That doesn't make it any easier to accept gaining a few pounds.

I know in my head it's only water, as I don't eat more than 800 calories a day, it's impossible to actually gain "weight".  It's still a little itch in the back of my mind, bugging me.  I suppose after a lifetime of being obese that I should be used to all these feelings and not let them get to me so much, but it's difficult.

Frustration was usually dealt with by eating.  Since I can't do that I find myself at a loss of what to do.  Yesterday I cleaned the house from room to room, read, knitted, accepted delivery of a new dryer, talked on the phone, played on the computer, watched some shows, and still found myself wanting to go into the kitchen and eat.  Was I hungry? Nope, not at all.  "Head hunger" is difficult to deal with for me.  For so long eating was my main occupation.  I used it for every emotion.  I find myself lost as to what I do now.  Have I said that already? Seems to be the topic stuck in my mind.

Staying motivated is my main focus this week.  I've been walking and doing a toning dvd for my exercise and it hasn't been too bad.  I can actually jog!  I need to focus on how I feel physically, which is great.  The improvements in my mobility and endurance have been great and I actually feel like a person and not just a lump on the sofa.  I have all kinds of things that I want to do now that I can get out and "do" stuff.  Spring needs to get here quickly!


DesertHen said...

Colleen, you write beautifully! In those moments when you find yourself worrying or "in your head" sit down and write...just let your thoughts flow onto the paper. Believe it or not, it does help and can be very relaxing for the mind and body.

You are doing a wonderful job on this journey and will continue to do so!

I miss your photos! You really are a very talented photographer! =)

samiam4eva06 said...

I agree with her. You do write awesome. But I think we all go through this girl! Just stay motivated!!! your doing such a great job!

marisa said...

I was struggling with head hunger too. Physically not hungry but boy my mind wanted those fish crackers! You'd think with 5 kids I'd be too busy to think about food but old habits die hard!

Looking forward to reading about your journey.