It's been nine weeks since my WLS and I'm down 31 lbs. Not the "quick" loss everyone thinks it is. I probably could have been doing better because I haven't been doing my exercises consistently. I've averaged a bit over 3 pounds a week.
I've heard alot of people say that having the surgery was the best thing they ever did....I'm not there yet. I go back and forth alot. Is it easier to eat less? Yes. Am I hungry? Some, but not near what I was. Do I miss what I can't have now? Sometimes. When most of your meals consist of just protein, at least for now, you are limited and it can get boring. Lately I've been substituting a few meals with more shakes cause the thought of just eating meat get's a bit old.
I will admit to a bad habit that I have that has to be worked on. I'm a scale whore. I'm on that thing everyday and sometimes more than that. I get so wrapped up in the numbers that I start to flip just a bit. I know that it's common to gain water weight, that there is no way I could have consumed enough calories to gain a couple pounds overnight. After all I'm eating about 700-800 calories a day. It still twists me up mentally some.
It's also very hard to "see" the results for me. If you've never been overweight, or morbidly obese like me, it's a bit hard to explain. When I look at myself I still see the old me. I realize that I'm wearing a smaller size, and it baffles me that it fits, cause this old fat body just shouldn't fit in it. I need to be more present in my thoughts. Take pride in what I have accomplished and not be down on myself for what I still need to lose. I have lost 60 pounds since the beginning of all of this and have that much more to go, so technically I'm half way to my goal. The mind is a sometimes crazy place to be stuck in.
My goal this month is to be good about exercise, after all it isn't like I don't have the time. It's just getting started that seems to be the hardest thing. Once on the treadmill I feel better and am able to challenge myself against the last time and distance I walked. My sis is bringing back my exercise bike so that I will be able to do while watching tv which will help with the boredom of just staring at a wall while walking. It's too cold now to walk outside, that will be warmer weather treat.
3 comments:
Keep up the great work, it will be worth it in the long run. I check myself once a week on the scale..:-)
Don't forget. Your life so much more than just weight, diet, exercise, calories, and a scale.
Colleen, you are very special, smart, beautiful and....you.
Don't forget. You are loved.
(((((hugs)))))
~Lisa
Oh Colleen! I understand what you are going through! I had a period where no meats were appitizing to me! I am finally coming out of that period of recovery. From what I have heard...that is VERY common! Don't feel bad.
Secondly, I was also a scale whore. I found myself sometimes weighing 2 or 3 times a day! I eventually got "tired" of weighing and have now adjusted to once a day. I know that you will too.
As stated above, Remember that we are more than a number. You are smart, beautiful, and wonderful! Please try and rememeber this during your hard days. You are not at the end of this journey yet.
Happy New Year and may 2011 bring you many blessings!
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